I have an "inspiration" binder that I keep on a shelf in my office at home where I’ve collected pictures of things I've found in magazines. There's a few priceless treasures of artwork that my kids made me tucked in there too. I only add super special stuff - things that I know I'll love for the long term.
Anyway, we were talking about a project at the house when I suddenly thought of a photo I wanted to share with Russ and brought the binder out. As I was flipping through these pages of images that I'd saved over a good decade of time, I found this little quote Mom had sent to me. I don't know when she sent it, but I had liked it so much. There it was, this two sentence quote that SHE must have cut out of a magazine. The words were highlighted in what was now a faded yellow marker and she’d written four little words above it on a hot pink sticky note in her beautiful cursive writing. A note just for me. Reminding me to believe in myself. I loved that she had thought of me and taken the time to mail those important words to me. But of course, that's what Mom’s do. They nurture & encourage.
She treated us girls all the same, but she treated us as individuals as well. Always. She saw our strengths and weaknesses, how we're the same and how we’re different. The way she treated everyone, one person at a time. And she was an amazing listener. She wrote tons of notes and always remembered stuff. She always knew what was going on and we depended on her. I called her with all of life's tears or to complain or share a joy. Thanks for always being there, Mom!
Mom was always busy! She liked to do lots of different things. She enjoyed to sew and write and she traveled all over the world! She liked to dance and golf and bowl. And jump out of airplanes every now and then. She did tequila shots, hanging upside down, on our girls retreat in Cabo. Loved your adventurous spirit, Mom!
A few years ago I mentioned to her that I had read that scientists have calculated the odds of you being born. That they had taken into account wars, natural disasters, dinosaurs... and determined that the odds of you being born, in the moment in time you were born, to the parents you were born to, with the DNA structure you have is 1:400,000,000,000. One in four hundred trillion! I said,
"those are some pretty slim odds at getting lucky"
and I could feel her smile on the other end of the line as we giggled.
So much was happening in my life those weeks and days and minutes before she left us and as my first friend in life said to me in a text message, "the whirlwinds of our own crazy painful joyful frustrating wonderful complicated lives" (have to) keep us going.
The day after her unexpected departure I heard a heavily cracking voice say to me,
"this is the first day of my new life... without my Mom"
Our hearts now bear a huge hole that no one else will be able to fill. The sorrow we feel will never go away. But We are survivors! She taught us that, too!
The woman who will undeniably be missed has doe-see-do'd off the dance floor and exited the stage we know as life, but she'll live on in our hearts and our souls.
I'll always remember the love you gave me.
Beautiful, Shelley. Yep you were pretty lucky to get Rose for a mother. Rose was pretty darn lucky to have you too.
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